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Entry tags:
FIC, # 007; System
Title: Sticky Threats
Author: Omnicat
Word Count: 276
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Wufei x Meilan ...technically.
Warnings: Arranged marriage, innuendo.
Author’s Note: The thought of these two actually consummating their marriage, with their relationship being what it is, squicks me out like you wouldn’t believe. So here’s a fic about them not doing that. 8D
It's Wufei and Meilan's wedding night. Time to find a bomb shelter.
Sticky Threats
“Wufei. Why is there a bottle of... of... of that on my nightstand?”
“For the same reason there’s a strip of those on mine, wife: we hate each other’s guts and it would be an embarrassment if our wedding night was a failure because of it.”
“It was a rhetorical question, dimwit.”
“Always hard to tell, coming from you.”
“What was that?!”
“A slight to your intellect.”
“No, did you hear that just now? I think they just locked the door.”
Bam.
“They barred the door!”
“A - are they serious?!”
“No way, forget it. Touch me and you die.”
“Touch me and you die!”
“If we can’t kick the door down, they leave me no other choice.”
“Meilan? What’s with the knife? Where did you keep that?! Put that down!”
“All that studying and all that time knowing you’d be a woman’s bane someday, and you can’t even guess? Pathetic.”
“Oh, I see - wait! Dammit, you should’ve let me do that.”
“Don’t insult me, Wufei. This isn’t the first time I’ve shed my blood for my clan, and it won’t be the last. If I have to cheat to meet their insane demands about my womanhood, so be it.”
“Er, right.”
“Now you, dear husband, need a couple of bruises. Nobody would believe I’d just let you get away with that.”
“This is sick.”
“No, this is tradition. My mother was married three times before she would have me. Got it down to an art. Sick would be if I actually used that lube.”
“Spirits help me, you might have some brain power in you after all.”
Author: Omnicat
Word Count: 276
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Wufei x Meilan ...technically.
Warnings: Arranged marriage, innuendo.
Author’s Note: The thought of these two actually consummating their marriage, with their relationship being what it is, squicks me out like you wouldn’t believe. So here’s a fic about them not doing that. 8D
It's Wufei and Meilan's wedding night. Time to find a bomb shelter.
Sticky Threats
“Wufei. Why is there a bottle of... of... of that on my nightstand?”
“For the same reason there’s a strip of those on mine, wife: we hate each other’s guts and it would be an embarrassment if our wedding night was a failure because of it.”
“It was a rhetorical question, dimwit.”
“Always hard to tell, coming from you.”
“What was that?!”
“A slight to your intellect.”
“No, did you hear that just now? I think they just locked the door.”
Bam.
“They barred the door!”
“A - are they serious?!”
“No way, forget it. Touch me and you die.”
“Touch me and you die!”
“If we can’t kick the door down, they leave me no other choice.”
“Meilan? What’s with the knife? Where did you keep that?! Put that down!”
“All that studying and all that time knowing you’d be a woman’s bane someday, and you can’t even guess? Pathetic.”
“Oh, I see - wait! Dammit, you should’ve let me do that.”
“Don’t insult me, Wufei. This isn’t the first time I’ve shed my blood for my clan, and it won’t be the last. If I have to cheat to meet their insane demands about my womanhood, so be it.”
“Er, right.”
“Now you, dear husband, need a couple of bruises. Nobody would believe I’d just let you get away with that.”
“This is sick.”
“No, this is tradition. My mother was married three times before she would have me. Got it down to an art. Sick would be if I actually used that lube.”
“Spirits help me, you might have some brain power in you after all.”